Why is it useful for you to pay attention to your feelings and the feelings of your friends and family?
Because if your feelings are unstable, expect that your words and their words will also be unstable, feelings affect the quality of speech as well as behavior. In your case, if this happens, do not expect yourself to control your feelings, that is, in an attempt to avoid the state of instability that you are in.
So how can I control my feelings?
Let me tell you that you cannot control your feelings, but what you can do is deal with these feelings and accept them in order to help yourself, because expecting yourself that you can control your feelings may cause you frustration and distress when you cannot do that and no one is required to control his feelings, but rather Accept it and deal with it.
5 steps to help you deal with your feelings.
1- Accept your emotional state.
For example, if you feel (fear, anxiety, hope, dread, anticipation, curiosity) accept how you feel and allow yourself to feel it naturally without judging yourself while you feel this feeling.
2- Avoid quick and violent reactions
Everyone feels a feeling that has their own reasons. For example, you find a group of co-workers attending a meeting and a decision has been taken by the management of the institution or company that causes feelings of fear and anxiety for all attendees, through observation you will know that they feel fear and anxiety, but it is difficult to guess the internal reasons that each person has in the meeting, so be aware of Judging yourself and others at this moment is good to know your feelings and the feelings of others, but the most wonderful is to understand the reasons for your feelings and their feelings of these feelings, this understanding helps you to deal appropriately with the situation and avoid violent and quick reactions.
3- Do not compare your feelings with the feelings of others
Comparing your feelings with the feelings of others, the same situations you are going through may expose you to disasters in the present and in the future, so you have to be aware that our feelings are the product of our interpretation and analysis of the situations we are going through, and every person has his own interpretation of what happens with him or with others, comparing your feeling to the feelings of others affects you negatively. Because you will base your decisions and attitudes on their feelings, not on the reasons for your own feelings.
4- Feeling message
The beginning of your feeling of a feeling, you may find that the degree of intensity of this feeling is high, and therefore it is difficult for you to understand what is behind the feeling in terms of the message that it carries to you. It has been before, or reflects a blocking belief inside you, so it is important to look for the message and the gift that the feeling brings, and this realization and understanding of this message often occurs at a time when you calm down and can think rationally far from the control of feelings.
5- Implementing the message of feeling
When you feel calm, remember to implement the message of feeling that you realized, because if you ignore this message, it is very possible that you will feel this feeling again, but this time the feeling comes with a high degree of feeling that may be difficult to deal with easily.
In the emotional intelligence program, I help you to deal with your feelings through practical tools that are easy to apply and increase your ability to manage your feelings so that they do not control you.
